Remember the moral of The Emperor’s New Clothes? When something is universally praised, you become unwilling to speak out, even if something is gravely wrong on a fundamental level. That’s how I feel about the Cartier Tank. I know this is wildly sacrilegious. The Cartier Tank is, after all, one of the most iconic watches of all time, whose classic design has withstood the fluctuating whims of fashion for more than a century. Since Louis Cartier rolled it out in 1919, the Tank has graced the wrists of a veritable Who’s Who of movers and shakers. You want names? OK, let’s start with Clark Gable, Rudolph Valentino, Cary Grant, Bob Hope, Cole Porter, Frank Sinatra, Duke Ellington, Truman Capote, Fred Astaire, Gary Cooper and Jackie Onassis. More? Alright then, how about Steve McQueen, Muhammad Ali, Calvin Klein, Yves Saint Laurent, Ralph Lauren, Patti Smith, Claudia Schiffer, Sofia Coppola, Angelina Jolie and Michelle Obama. Yet all these illustrious go-getters turned a blind eye to what, I believe, is a truly strange and unnerving detail. And when you take another look at the Tank, I think you might agree. Personally, whenever I see that watch, I suddenly come over like a die-hard…
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