As a 10-year-old boy in the 1980s, when I wasn’t attempting to learn how to moonwalk or riding my trusty BMX, my friends and I shared a collective obsession. We were constantly scheming to try and find ways to watch heinously violent films on VHS tapes. This under-age compulsion to show how grown-up and cool we were, invariably backfired and resulted in low-level trauma – Freddie Krueger alone gave me nightmares for weeks. But an off-shoot of this quest for ultra-violence was that one man loomed extra-large in our collective psyche. In the ’80s, Arnold Schwarzenegger was the biggest action hero on the planet and my introduction to his barrage of blockbusters was Commando (1985). To be fair, this film hasn’t aged particularly well with its ludicrous plot-line, extreme bodycount (Arnie single-handedly kills 81 people) and fairly overt homophobia. But as a 10-year-old I failed to appreciated such nuances. For me, Commando was the Most Exciting Thing I’d Ever Seen. There was once scene in particular that fascinated me. Arnie’s character, John Matrix (which I thought was the coolest name imaginable) rows to an island to rescue his daughter from the evil clutches of a deposed South American dictator. As…
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