How to justify your watch purchases to your partner, a new series, starting with 'The Heirloom Defence'

MEET THE ENABLER: Defending the indefensible is a tiresome but necessary business. Obviously, we understand that you’ve found a new must-have watch to add to your collection (congratulations!). But the next step, making it happen, may not always fly with non-believers whose reactions will likely range from horror to derision to divorce. That’s where The Enabler comes in … Use his advanced levels of sophistry to validate your latest, or next, acquisition. The problem is that, to your wife, it’s yet another ludicrous act of self-indulgence. As far as she’s concerned, this watch is a totally unnecessary purchase. You’ve just shelled out on another pointless extravagance, siphoning funds from your joint bank account that could be spent on dozens of more useful things (repaving the patio, paying the school fees, buying her mother a less startling set of false teeth …). As a result, your wife isn’t happy. In fact, she’s appalled by your inherent shallowness and brazen disregard for your family’s welfare. It’s at this point that you take your partner’s head in both hands and gaze into her eyes with a patient smile. “You poor, sweet thing,” you say gently. “I don’t think you quite understand. This watch isn’t…

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5 years ago