Sex toys, murder victims and cocaine: the dark side of the Apple Watch
Bubble wrap was originally devised as a form of three-dimensional wallpaper. The modern treadmill was invented to harness the muscle power of idle prisoners in order to mill grain. Frisbees were created by a Connecticut pie company as a dish for their wares. Fascinating facts aside, the point here is that many things are designed with noble intentions that are promptly subverted in unexpected ways. Inevitably, that’s also proved true with the Apple Watch which, according to consumer research firm Strategy Analytics, sold more than 50 million units in 2018 and 2019 combined. The smartwatch was released in 2015 to bold headlines that it could revolutionise the entire healthcare system. But while the Apple Watch does indeed offer a multitude of health features, human nature has ensured it has also been adopted for a host of unlikely purposes as this round-up of international stories reveals … Apple Watch as sex toy Sex toys offer boundless reassurance about the creativity of the human spirit. Cleopatra reportedly pleasured herself with a papyrus box full of live bees, while today you can even put your dead lover’s ashes into a dildo. People, in other words, get imaginative in this department. It’s therefore not…
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Now that Rolex has released watches and ended that dreadful rumour that they were sitting 2020 out, the important work begins. Nicknaming them. The one that has perhaps caused the most contention, is this one, the Submariner ref. 126619LB in white gold. We’re going to tell you everything you need to know about it below. But first, some data. We asked Instagram what its nickname should be. Our favourites are as follows: Sonic. BMW (or Beemer). Blueberry. Sega. Add to these a decidedly not-catchy suggestion of “I wish the stupid nickname game would stop and availability happens.” The winner, however, was overwhelmingly clear. It’s the Cookie Monster. Settled. Now let’s talk about the size. The iconic Submariner will for many always be pitch perfect at 40mm. Is the size increase as vast as we are told, and is it the end of the enthusiasts’ embrace of the Crown? The most coveted watch today becomes too large by a gut-wrenching, teary-eyed millimetre? From the vast traffic on forums, Facebook groups and Instagram, the 1mm difference is seemingly best illustrated by this monster – of a gargantuan 1mm in size, sharing its underwater habitat with the Submariner. Meet the gargantuan 1…
If you don’t like public displays of affection, you might want to scroll down to the top stories of the week, because it dawned on me today, as I prepared for an interview with the CEO of TAG Heuer, that I have a lot of people to thank at this point in time. As I’ve described probably too many times by now, my home city of Melbourne has been in a seemingly unending lockdown, treated to the harshest stay-at-home conditions on the planet we believe. I want to thank some brands in particular, because they know this – that it completely sucks to live in our part of the world right now – and they’ve done things to try and help. Small things. Big things. Quirky things. I have appreciated every single one of them, and I want to call out a few of them. TY Chopard, for the most stylish face masks in town. My wife has jacked mine, so I don’t wear it, but she does, every single day. Thank you Jaeger-LeCoultre for two things: arranging an interview with their frighteningly charming CEO Catherine Rénier (my wife would be happy if I could stop reminiscing about it) on…